Seven Sub-Personalities Exercise
Seven personalities?! You’re probably asking, “What’s that? I thought we just went through this binary description of being either an introvert or an extrovert.”
You are a unique and multifaceted individual, not a monolithic personality. If you’ve ever had a tough decision to make and found yourself saying, well, part of me wants this and part of me wants that, then you know what I mean. I have created this little thought exercise to help you understand the many facets of your personality that together fully express who you are. It is adapted from a goal setting exercise from Steve Pavlina’s blog Personal Development for Smart People.
For decision-making purposes, it can be helpful to think of yourself as a cast of characters. I know it’s a little freaky to think of yourself as seven different people, but we are not talking split personalities here. Instead, this is a way to uncover and explore the many different parts of your personality that make you YOU.
The challenge is to find seven personalities that describe you, but they must be as orthogonal to one another (that means have the least overlap) as possible. This cast of seven will capture your unique complexity.
As an example, here is my set:
- The Student: needs learning and constant intellectual stimulation, is growth-oriented
- The Go-Getter: gets things done, is an achiever
- The Connector: seeks a sense of deep connection, also wants to help others find connections, such as with matchmaking, recruiting, introducing friends to one another.
- The Free Spirit: is care-free, enjoys adventures, like mischief
- The Roman: enjoys sensory indulgence, such as with food, wine, and dance.
- The Designer: has a strong sense of aesthetics and strong sense of design, whether it be in art, math, or coaching.
- The Positive Force: likes doing good and helping; has a strong focus on positivity in everything.
A lot of my life and career choices trace back to one or a combination of these sub-personalities. When I was in graduate school, doing academic research in artificial intelligence, the dominant personalities were The Student and The Go-Getter Together, they were a powerful combo that silenced most of the other personalities. My Connector was very frustrated because doing academic research can be very lonely and isolating. I oscillated between being intellectually stimulated by cool concepts in AI and feeling lonely and down because I was spending too much time by myself. That’s what happens when your sub-personalities are not working in synchrony.
To begin, think to yourself not “What do you want”? But rather think, “What do ALL of YOU want?” This way you can break down the different aspects of yourself into seven characters.
You can make up any name for your characters, but if, for example, you have “Explorer” as well as “Pioneer” in there, there could be an overlap in meaning and intention—both are drawn to novelty and newness, though slightly differently. Instead, choose one or change the name to The Exploring Pioneer to capture all those qualities and then find another character, like The Organizer.
Additionally, when you work out theses characters, they should represent themes that are pretty persistent throughout your life and manifest themselves in different areas of your life: work, play, relationships. Looking back, you see traces of them as early as childhood.
Here are a couple of tips when it comes to finding your sub-personalities. As a rule of thumb, keep it between five and seven. Too few, you may not capture enough of your richness. Too many, they stop being helpful as a decision-making tool because you can’t even remember them all.
Also, give them expressive names that really capture the feeling. At first, I named the indulgent part of myself The Hedonist, but it didn’t feel right because the word has too much negative connotation. When I finally decided upon The Roman, it was perfect! I pictured this an ancient Roman reclining on a chaise lounge eating grapes. It captured the essence of what I wanted to express. I found that in my stressful corporate jobs when I also had a young child to raise, the Roman was kicked to the curb. There was no time to indulge or relax. Even then, I strategized and found ways to indulge my senses.
When one or more of your sub-personalities are suppressed for too long, your energy drains and it becomes hard to achieve your goals. Those sub-personalities start to sabotage you subconsciously just to gain some attention and control. The reason to make them explicit is so that you can negotiate and create more win-win situations and find synergies. For example, maybe my Go-Getter character is working hard to create a career talk, but if I can deliver it at a conference in Italy, my Roman will be happy too.
Just to get your mind moving, I attached a list of random names I collected over the years. You by no means have to pick off of this list. But it could be quick way to jump start the casting call. It takes some time to re-jigger the cast to get it to feel right, so don’t feel you have to find your perfect seven all at once.
The Absent-Minded Professor
The Academic
The Achiever
The Activist
The Administrator
The Adventurer
The Advocate
The Agent
The Amateur
The Analyst
The Anthropologist
The Architect
The Artisan
The Artist
The Assistant
The Athlete
The Authoritarian
The Behind-the-Scenes Person
The Bohemian
The Bookworm
The Boss
The Boy Scout
The Broadway Star
The Broker
The Builder
The Bullshooter
The Bully
The Care Bear
The Careerist
The Celebrity
The Chanteuse
The Charmer
The Child
The Circumnavigator
The Closer
The Clown
The Coach
The Collector
The Comedian
The Community Builder
The Community Organizer
The Companion
The Competitive Bastard
The Confidant
The Conqueror
The Controller
The Cool Dad
The Couch Potato
The Cowboy
The Crafter
The Creator
The Critic
The Cultivator
The Dancer
The Deal Maker
The Dealer
The Debutante
The Decider
The Designer
The Despot
The Detective
The Deviant
The Dictator
The Director
The Disciplinarian
The Doodler
The Dreamer
The Enigma
The Entertainer
The Entrepreneur
The Environmentalist
The Explorer
The Facilitator
The Fan
The Fanatic
The Farmer
The Father
The Fearless Leader
The Fool
The Free Spirit
The Freelancer
The Futurist
The Gambler
The Gardner
The Geek
The General
The Genius
The Go-Getter
The Goofball
The Grandmother
The Harmonizer
The Healer
The Hedonist
The Herbalist
The Hermit
The Hero
The Hibernator
The High Priestess
The Hipster
The Historian
The Humanitarian
The Hunter
The Illusionist
The Inner Child
The Innovator
The Insider
The Intellectual
The Investigator
The Judge
The Lawyer
The Less Professional
The Lover
The Magician
The Marine
The Marketeer
The Martyr
The Master
The Mastermind
The Matchmaker
The Maximizer
The Mediator
The Mentor
The Minimizer
The Mischief Maker
The Model
The Molder
The Money Man/ Woman
The Mother
The Musician
The Naturalist
The Navigator
The Negotiator
The Networker
The Number-Cruncher
The Nurturer
The Nutty Professor
The Obfuscator
The Observer
The Optimizer
The Outsider
The Pagan
The Party Animal
The People Pleaser
The Perfectionist
The Performer
The Philosopher
The Pioneer
The Pirate
The Player
The Poet
The Poker Player
The Politician
The Preacher
The Prince
The Princess
The Problem-Solver
The Professional
The Protector
The Puma
The Rebel
The Regular
The Revolutionary
The Right-Hand Person
The Risk Manager
The Risk Taker
The Robin hood
The Rock
The Roman
The Romantic
The Sage
The Scientist
The Scout
The Seeker
The Self-Mythologizer
The Sellout
The Sensualist
The Shakespearean
The Shy Mouse
The Sidekick
The Silver Lining-er (Silver Liner)
The Skeptic
The Slug
The Soaker
The Social Butterfly
The Socialite
The Soldier
The Storyteller
The Streetwise Person
The Striver
The Student
The System Builder
The Talker
The Teacher
The Team Player
The Technician
The Teenage Girl
The Teenager
The Therapist
The Thinker
The Tiger
The Tinkerer
The Tragic Hero
The Transient
The Trickster
The Unrecognized Genius
The Urbanite
The Visionary
The Wallflower
The Wanderer
The Warrior
The Weasel
The Witch
The Workaholic